I cannot decide on what I want to do.
I love Louisville and it feels like home. I wish I could figure out what I want to do with my life. Why is this such a hard decision? Why can't I figure this out? I want someone to make the decision for me, but I know it's mine to make.
Either decision I feel like I'm fucking up my life. I will disappoint someone. I just feel so helpless & I know I'm not. I'm creating so much stress for myself by not just making a decision.
I cannot find a job here. I don't have an apartment. The only thing that is certain is school.
At least in Louisville I will get my job back, I think, and I will have an income. I don't have anywhere to live, yet, which is so stressful it makes me sick. I can go to school in Louisville, too. I just want to make the decision.
I haven't even really moved yet. All of my shit is still there. I have until like tomorrow morning to make a decision. I don't want to make the decision.
My mom is going to hate me if I decide to move back. I just don't know what to do. I don't want to disappoint her. I want to do what makes me happy and where I won't fail. Ugh. I just don't fucking know.
Save me from myself.
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